flurp-boink

Good!! I almost called your cell number repeatedly to leave guilty-laden messages on the voicemail for the thief...but decided against it. Glad it's finally back to you!!
 

I had to deal with a customer who had a face similarly shaped to yours and she was horrible and nasty and weird and when I announced her computer was fixed she gave me a hug and it was awful that she hugged me.

But it made me miss yo' ass. And I wished I was dealing with you instead of annoying Deanna Dickerson. (which was her name)
 

I don't care how crappy your internet is, not posting for 2 and a half months is, frankly, unacceptable.

Oh, if you actually read this, don't forget to bring my jacket to the wedding.

...I'm never getting it back now am I.

Nuts.